What this blog is REALLY about....

Growing up in upstate New York I intrinsically figured that there could be no more a hick town than the one I grew up in. Then my family up and moved us to Minnesota where I was sorely proven wrong. That first year living here, and the next few to follow, was a nightmare not only because our family had to make a lot of unwanted changes and adjustments, but because it was a time of grieving for everything that we had left behind: our roots, our identity, our home. And we had to do it alone.



I high tailed it out of here at the age of twenty-one, swearing to myself that I would never, ever return. I had my adventures, I did, of drifting from state to state, desperately trying to find a place where I could re-invent myself and call it home. But it failed me. Two years ago (going on three), I had no choice but to return. So here I am, again, in this place that first chewed me up and spit me out. I’m now beginning to slowly grow permanent roots in this land, but I still find it quite damaging to my spirit.



However, as much as I hate Minnesota for what it did to my family fifteen years ago, I’m desperately trying to discover Its redeeming qualities. I’ve decided that if I’m going to stay here, I need to make this marriage work.



So. After an enlightening afternoon of drifting thoughts, I came up with an idea….



Twelve years ago I stood under a wintry night sky and saw twelve shooting starts twelve days before Christmas. Twelve is a personal number for me, so, twelve it is. I have decided to choose twelve places, cities, landmarks throughout the entire state of Minnesota to visit and write about here on this blog. My goal is to finish this within one year. In each place I travel to I will write an extensive, hopefully amusing, essay on my experiences. Some of it will be educational and informative on Minnesota’s history and wildlife and culture, and much of it will be about my personal growths. And most of it, I’m afraid, will be a lot of blunt, honest, offensive opinions. Take it or leave it. I’m trying to love your State; I really, truly am.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Home

I haven’t even had the chance to go to any of my twelve places yet, and already I have something to share, something that has given me validation for choosing Minnesota as my final home. And I never, ever thought I could call Minnesota “home”, but here I am saying it. I have more than I could’ve hoped for, and all the comments on my previous posts have proven how fortunate and blessed I am, and that I must’ve done something right at some point in my life. I want to thank Tiffany, Kyle, Heidi, Kelly, Brad, Nyki, Brandon, Dana and all the others for defending me against someone who does, yes, know who I am. She’s one of the very reasons Minnesota has put a bad taste in my mouth. She has clearly proven why… More than half of the friends who defended my reputation and honor are friends that I have, here, in Minnesota. They are the reason I stay here to begin with. They are the reason I realized in the first place that my prejudices against Minnesota were unfair, that all the personal darkness in my past had very little to do with where I lived. All I’ve ever wanted was to re-build what I’ve lost. To re-build a network of friends, establish traditions, be a part of a community and not feel like a never ending visitor. The appearance of Nemesis has only proven too well that I have finally ascertained all of those things. And what’s even more amazing is that my network doesn’t stop here. I have friends all over the country who came to my defense from nothing more than one, wicked, vindictive heart beat. It is my friends that make it home. And I love them all for saving me. I don’t think even they realize how much their love has rescued me from all the dark places of my past.

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